TODAY WAS SO AWKWARD IT’S IN TWO PARTS : PART TWO
As you may have noticed from my previous post, I had already had a hell of a day. Being the awkward person that I am, I felt guilty of not going to uni again and decided to perform a ruse, to make it seem like I did actually attend school in the eyes of my parents.
Everything would be fine all day, except for when my Dad comes home for lunch. I decided for the 30 minutes or so that he would be there, I would conceal myself in my cupboard, sitting atop of many a leather shoe. Therefore making it seem like I wasn’t home at all, and was in fact, AT UNI. I would then leave the house to run some errands, shortly before my mother would return home from work and either make my own way home via evil buses(see previous post) or call my mother dearest to pick me up from the train station, giving even more truth to my awkward ploy.
Everything was going swell, my ‘Dad’ arriving at 1pm for his lunch break, and I assumed my position in the cupboard, listening intently. He made a stop first in my room, checking if I was home. Excellent, I thought. Visual confirmation of my not being at home and at uni! It was about 15 minutes into my stay when I realised, it was in-fact my older brother and not my daddy-dearest. I decided to wait it out for a while longer. My brother lives far away in the city, and very rarely stays over on weeknights so I regarded his visit as a meagre stop-over after a meeting, and he would make his way back home shortly.
Forty minutes later, I had enough. I made an improvisation to my awkward plan to tip-toe out into the lounge and to the back door, open and close it to make it seem as if I was entering; bag, shoe and jacket props in hand. I quietly exited the cupboard and had a stretch, when disaster struck. My brother was in the very lounge I needed to make my ‘entry’. I stood and pondered for 5 good minutes.
I was absolutely fed up with my awkwardness for one day, and make the decision to ruffle my blankets around, make sounds with my feet and act out a ‘getting out of bed sequence. I approached my brother who was on the couch, who was slightly startled thinking he was alone all this time.
‘Where were you?’ he asked.
‘In bed, under the covers. I came home sick from uni’ (white lies: the good kind of lie that has some element of truth, I felt so shitty today)
‘Oh, all I saw was a massive pile of blankets’
Yep, you did.
Awkward out.
TODAY WAS SO AWKWARD, IT’S IN TWO PARTS : PART ONE
The second I woke up I knew today would be shitty. It was 2 hours before I needed to get up, awesome lady pains and a snotty nose with a surplus of boogers. In the shower, I was trying to decide if going to uni would be worth it.
When I left the shower I had decided to skip my evening class to be home early. Getting dressed, I decided on a leopard print pencil skirt but then discovered it to be wrought with holes. ‘Fuck it’, I said out loud, I didn’t really care. By the time I was ready-ish, debating with myself which shoe to wear, brain was playing ping pong with itself. ‘Nah, I’m not going’ ‘No. I’m dressed, I look nice. I’m going’ ‘Nah, I feel shitty, lets stay home’ ‘You stayed home Monday, don’t be shit’.
This battle even continued as I left my house and walked to my bus stop. It was these inner mind games that caused me to dawdle. My skirt decides to ride up as I walk uphill, I feel like a streetwalker yet again. I briefly consider turning around mid walk to go back home for the day, but ha. I once took an half an hour detour from school when I mistook a car for my mothers, instead of simply turning around. It would be far too embarrassing in any environment.
As I turn final corner, I see my bus glide pass without a care in the world. I stop dead in my tracks, whimper to myself, and with no other choice, turn around (in HORROR) and walk back home again.
slow and steady misses the bus
